*Being a satirical (and possibly completely made up) story of events occurring in a rapidly-growing mountain town during the unprecedented year of 2022. ** Honey, is that you? Mom? What are you doing? I told you not to call me at work. I know. But I’m a customer today. A member. Want me to give you my membership number? M-o-m. It’s not like I don’t know our membership number. So, you’re at the customer service desk today? Yes. Alright then.… Read More »Significant Incident #3: The Coop*
Significant Incident Reports
Don’t freak out. This is satire.
Hello? Is this the emergency shelter? Oh, good. Glad I caught you. I’d like to report an incident? Something that happened last night. No, I know you’re not the police. But I thought I wasn’t supposed to call the police anymore? Poverty’s not a crime, right? So I thought I’d call you, because this has to do with a homeless person and you handle them. You serve that population. Yes. That’s what I meant to say. You serve that population,… Read More »Significant Incident Report #2: The Garage*
*Being a satirical recounting of (at least partially) true events occurring in a rapidly-growing mountain town during the unprecedented year of 2022. Around here we call this kind of basket a Kootenay carry-on. Yeah, it does fit everything, and I mean everything. If you need it, I probably have it in here. A lot of locals have them. I want to talk to you about what happened this morning. I was walking down the hill from our house to the… Read More »Significant Incident Report #1: The Basket*